Should we expose to the scrutiny of others our cherished dreams of what we want to achieve?
One camp says. "Yes, definitely!" When we step into the spotlight and others can witness our progress, we make ourselves accountable. That motivates us to take action, and showing commitment can inspire others to want to help us.
But another camp insists, "No way!" Others will be only too ready to piss on our parade and drown our hopes. People with no relevant knowledge or experience will suddenly appoint themselves as experts and smother us with dire descriptions of what is bound to go wrong.
Both arguments stand solid. So which way do we go? Well, why not enjoy the best of both worlds and take a middle path?
*****
When we first conceive our dream, we usually also give birth to its opposing twin: that tiny voice in our heads that relentlessly taunts us with, "Who do you think you are?" "You must be joking!" "That's beyond your reach!" On and on it goes.
While that voice has the upper hand, we need to keep our dreams to oursleves. Our own inner doubts will find subtle ways to invite others to support and magnify them. Before long, that little voice in our heads will be smugly saying, "Told you so! Can't you see? The whole world thinks you're crazy!"
It then becomes easy to let ourselves off the hook, when we can blame "the whole world". But we must not allow ourselves to use "what others might think" as an excuse for giving in.
A cloak of secrecy is helpful, while we work on transforming our own doubts. Revisit B is for BELIEFS, where some of the ways to do that were outlined. (I will go more deeply into ways to transform confidence and self-belief in a program that I'm preparing for the new year.)
But at some point we must come out of hiding and kill our fear of what others might think, before it kills our dreams of what we can achieve. By all means, shelter your dreams from nay-sayers while you resolve some of your own doubts. But use that time of shelter to fan the sparks of your idea into a flame of hot passion.
The next step is to learn to communicate your passion. Practice your story until you can tell it simply and clearly, to anyone, anytime, any place. Practice to yourself in the mirror. Get your story firmly embedded in your mind. Get clear on the precise details of your WHAT, and particularly your WHY. That topic was touched on at A is for ATTENTION. (Again, more in-depth material is on its way.)
When you feel ready to roar, you will easily quash objectors, instead of them crushing you. Just as before, people will tend to reflect the state of your own inner conviction. But this time, they will be inspired to admire and support what you are doing. Word will spread, and the right people to help you will start to show up.
*****
There is a word similar to secret which illustrates this point. The word is SECRETE.
It has two opposite meanings. On the one hand, to secrete means to hide or store, as in secreting cash in Swiss bank accounts. Secrete can also mean to reveal and exude, as in secreting digestive juices or hormones when they are needed.
Our body takes bio-chemicals from our foods and secretes (stores) them. Our glands then secrete them in the opposite sense (exuding them), but only when the time is right and they are needed. That's exactly how we should handle our dreams of what we desire to achieve.
Initially we secrete them in the sense of hiding them. To let them out too soon would be EXCRETION, and that can cause a stink.
We then wait for the right signals:
- We have resolved most of our own inner doubts.
- We are clear about our aim and can explain it simply.
- We feel driven by passion to achieve it.
Of course, there will always be some idiots who will try to trip us up with problems. But when we have clarity and passion, we can calmly smile and tell them, "You have that problem. I don't." And quickly move on. No point in wasting time and energy with them.
That's another reason for being selective about who we share our dreams with. We don't want to be simply blowing all our energy when we could be using it for taking action.
*****
Next in this series comes "T", with a TIP for helping ourselves to TAKE ACTION.
This post is part of "An A to Z for Success". See the side panel on the right for an index.