This post is part of "An A to Z for Success". See the side panel on the right for an index.
IF and IS: two almost identical short words, but one can destroy our success in any venture, the other can be the making of it.
"IF we could only get more whatever (usually it's money)..."
"IF only I'd got better grades at college..."
"IF only this or that had or had not happened in my life..."
There is a common theme to IF-excuses (and they are just excuses, not real reasons for anything). They all push our thinking into either the past or the future. That leaves us helpless because we can only ever take effective action in the present moment.
IF-excuses also tend to place blame elsewhere, outside of ourselves:
"IF only so-and-so would do such-and-such..."
"IF only the economy would pick up..."
"IF only they did this or that..."
(If only we knew who they actually are!)
Such excuses only ensnare us into experiencing life as a victim. They block us from taking responsibility, which is another essential ingredient for effective action.
The remedy for IF-excuses is to abandon them altogether, and switch our focus to what IS. Don't waste a single moment trying to reason with an IF-excuse (remember, IF has no reason), just dump it.
You will always find IS to be at the centre of the present moment, both inviting and enabling effective action towards beneficial change. IS clarifies the actual here and now of our lives, the only real starting point for any effective action.
Before I offer an example to illustrate this, try the following experiment for yourself, right now, and note what comes up for you.
First, (without any judgement, just observe) get in touch with what you are feeling right now, especially any feeling of being stuck. (And by the way, "I'm not feeling anything at all," actually is a feeling ... a very stuck one.)
Next, ask yourself, "What must I be IF-ing to make me feel this way?" What thoughts are pushing you into either the past or the future? What apparent outside influence do you feel you are a victim of? All you are looking for here is to identify the IF. Often, just seeing it is enough to banish it, just like in ancient myths where being able to name a demon bestows the power to command it.
As soon as you expose your IF, simply drop it and switch your focus to what IS, here and now in the present moment. What IS the actual situation? What IS it that can be changed right now? What IS it possible to get done right now?
Just try it, and watch how your experience can quickly shift from "stuck" to "sizzling" and ready for action.
For an example, let's look at perhaps the most common IF-excuse: "IF only I had more money!"
So, there's this guy wandering along, looking and feeling rather down because, IF only he had more money, there are so many things he could enjoy. He feels things are not fair (victim mode), because he sees others who seem to have plenty. IF only he could be like them (another excuse). He dreams that one day he may win the lottery (trapped in the future). He dreams of all that he could then enjoy, but not with the relish of someone who is setting about to achieve those things, rather with a feeling of being excluded (paralyzed sense of responsibility)...
Suddenly, he wakes up. "All these IFs... they are nothing but excuses! What actually IS my situation?" His IF was about not having enough money to enjoy things with. So he looks in his wallet and sees the £10 note he knew he had. He then rummages through his pockets, and finds that all the loose coins actually double what he thought he had.
So, what IS it that he can do, right now? He has £20 to enjoy: see a film, meet a friend for a coffee, buy a new book to read... maybe all those things.
Once there is this shift from IF to IS, then so many things can open up from that. The friend he meets for coffee tips him off about a better paid job ... in the bookshop he finds something that inspires a business idea ... at the cinema he bumps into an old pal who insists on treating him to a meal ...
Even if none of those bigger things happen on this occasion (but they will if our friend keeps up with this new habit), by shifting from IF to IS, our friend ends up going to bed that night feeling he has enjoyed a great day. Had he remained trapped in his IF-excuse, he probably would have gone to bed miserable, blaming "no money" for his feeling despite the £20 wasting away in his pocket.
Take a fresh look at your wish list that you wrote at the start of this "A to Z" series, and weed out all the IF-excuses that are blocking your path to move towards achieving your dreams right now.
Next, we will look at JOY. (I'm looking forward to finding out what I might write about that.)
This post is part of "An A to Z for Success". See the side panel on the right for an index.
IF and IS: two almost identical short words, but one can destroy our success in any venture, the other can be the making of it.
"IF we could only get more whatever (usually it's money)..."
"IF only I'd got better grades at college..."
"IF only this or that had or had not happened in my life..."
There is a common theme to IF-excuses (and they are just excuses, not real reasons for anything). They all push our thinking into either the past or the future. That leaves us helpless because we can only ever take effective action in the present moment.
IF-excuses also tend to place blame elsewhere, outside of ourselves:
"IF only so-and-so would do such-and-such..."
"IF only the economy would pick up..."
"IF only they did this or that..."
(If only we knew who they actually are!)
Such excuses only ensnare us into experiencing life as a victim. They block us from taking responsibility, which is another essential ingredient for effective action.
*****
The remedy for IF-excuses is to abandon them altogether, and switch our focus to what IS. Don't waste a single moment trying to reason with an IF-excuse (remember, IF has no reason), just dump it.
You will always find IS to be at the centre of the present moment, both inviting and enabling effective action towards beneficial change. IS clarifies the actual here and now of our lives, the only real starting point for any effective action.
*****
Before I offer an example to illustrate this, try the following experiment for yourself, right now, and note what comes up for you.
First, (without any judgement, just observe) get in touch with what you are feeling right now, especially any feeling of being stuck. (And by the way, "I'm not feeling anything at all," actually is a feeling ... a very stuck one.)
Next, ask yourself, "What must I be IF-ing to make me feel this way?" What thoughts are pushing you into either the past or the future? What apparent outside influence do you feel you are a victim of? All you are looking for here is to identify the IF. Often, just seeing it is enough to banish it, just like in ancient myths where being able to name a demon bestows the power to command it.
As soon as you expose your IF, simply drop it and switch your focus to what IS, here and now in the present moment. What IS the actual situation? What IS it that can be changed right now? What IS it possible to get done right now?
Just try it, and watch how your experience can quickly shift from "stuck" to "sizzling" and ready for action.
*****
For an example, let's look at perhaps the most common IF-excuse: "IF only I had more money!"
So, there's this guy wandering along, looking and feeling rather down because, IF only he had more money, there are so many things he could enjoy. He feels things are not fair (victim mode), because he sees others who seem to have plenty. IF only he could be like them (another excuse). He dreams that one day he may win the lottery (trapped in the future). He dreams of all that he could then enjoy, but not with the relish of someone who is setting about to achieve those things, rather with a feeling of being excluded (paralyzed sense of responsibility)...
Suddenly, he wakes up. "All these IFs... they are nothing but excuses! What actually IS my situation?" His IF was about not having enough money to enjoy things with. So he looks in his wallet and sees the £10 note he knew he had. He then rummages through his pockets, and finds that all the loose coins actually double what he thought he had.
So, what IS it that he can do, right now? He has £20 to enjoy: see a film, meet a friend for a coffee, buy a new book to read... maybe all those things.
Once there is this shift from IF to IS, then so many things can open up from that. The friend he meets for coffee tips him off about a better paid job ... in the bookshop he finds something that inspires a business idea ... at the cinema he bumps into an old pal who insists on treating him to a meal ...
Even if none of those bigger things happen on this occasion (but they will if our friend keeps up with this new habit), by shifting from IF to IS, our friend ends up going to bed that night feeling he has enjoyed a great day. Had he remained trapped in his IF-excuse, he probably would have gone to bed miserable, blaming "no money" for his feeling despite the £20 wasting away in his pocket.
*****
Take a fresh look at your wish list that you wrote at the start of this "A to Z" series, and weed out all the IF-excuses that are blocking your path to move towards achieving your dreams right now.
Next, we will look at JOY. (I'm looking forward to finding out what I might write about that.)
This post is part of "An A to Z for Success". See the side panel on the right for an index.