This post is part of "An A to Z for Success". See the side panel on the right for an index.
First of all, check your reaction to this statement:
YOU HAVE NO CHOICE IN ANYTHING.
That's the bad news. The good news is that when we understand that we have no choice in anything, that's when we become free to make more informed and effective choices. Let me explain this paradox.
Take any "choice". It begins with a problem to be solved, or a need to be met, or a desire to be fulfilled... there is a target to aim for. Let's take a simple example with just two clear alternatives, but all the more complex patterns are basically the same. One alternative brings us closer to our desired target, the other takes us away from it.
Always, despite the appearance of a choice, we are bound to take the path that meets our desired target. Always, we take the path that we feel will either increase our comfort or decrease our pain. And that is why we do not really have a choice.
But, there are countless examples of people "choosing" the more difficult path that seems devoid of all comfort, even when there is a very comfortable option. Plus, there are endless examples of when we do the opposite of what we clearly know is best for us.
Yes, of course. And those are the times when our "choice" is driven not by a logical assessment of the immediate factors, but by BELIEFS which, as we discussed in the previous post, are largely buried in our unconscious mind, but always we are driven to follow the "choice" that satisfies the strongest belief we hold.
And so, we yield to the temptation of an extra cream cake, knowing full well that it goes against our conscious desire for a trimmer waistline. Deeper down, we are perhaps driven by the desire for approval, and we learned to believe at an impressionable age that a cream cake is the reward for good children.
Always, we flow through life like water, along the path of least resistance as determined by our strongest beliefs. These beliefs, mostly hidden from our conscious awareness, map out for us what has been called our "comfort zone". They define the territory in which we feel either safe or threatened, and our unconscious mind is constantly on the alert to protect us from perceived threats and keep us safely within our unconsciously defined comfort zone. That is the real driving force of the choices we make ... until we wake up to what's going on. Then we can take steps to redraw our map to reflect where we truly would choose to go
Our "comfort zone" can become a hellishly uncomfortable place for us to be. Take someone who feels trapped in a job that they get no satisfaction from doing, the conditions are eroding their health, it involves a hellish commute every day, and even the lousy pay does not justify it. Why?
Similar situations can arise in any area of our lives: relationships, where we live, our social scene... Perhaps, the person who feels trapped in that lousy job has had their beliefs strongly contaminated by constant "news" of "the recession"? Perhaps, deep down, they have become convinced there is no alternative but the fearful prospect of no job at all? They have bought into the story that sticking with what they have is their safest bet, their "comfort zone"?
And yet, recession or not, that person needs only one job. If they could just take on board the belief that somewhere out there is a job with ideal conditions for them, then they would soon find it.
The most common belief that undermines our choices is some form of "I'm not good enough."
There was a classic case of a businessman offering sales careers with a six-figure income, but no one was applying for the positions. The recruitment consultant hired to solve the problem immediately changed the offer to just £40,000. The businessman protested: he was offering a genuine opportunity to earn treble that amount. The consultant just smiled and handed over a stack of applications, all of them from prime candidates.
The consultant understood that the only thing holding them back before had been a belief that they were "not good enough" to hit the jackpot because, so far, they had only experienced lower earnings ... and that was hard enough for them! All of them, by the way, went on to achieve six-figure incomes after they were shown how.
Let's return to practicalities. How can we put to use what we have just learned about CHOICE?
Based on what we have learned, we can picture our route through life as one with endless appearances of choice, but in fact we always follow the sign that says ">>> THIS WAY >>>".
The trouble is, many of those signs were put in place long ago, based on forgotten experiences that linger in our unconscious minds as buried beliefs. When these hidden "presets" run contrary to the aims that we consciously subscribe to, that's when life can seem like a senseless tangle of endless difficulties.
But imagine if we could run ahead and change some of those signs around to say, "<<< THIS WAY <<<", wherever the new direction is better suited to our current aims. Then, our flow would take us exactly where we wish to go, automatically.
That is what we can now do, now that we understand this idea that all our choices are decided for us by our beliefs about what is "good" that we want more of and what is "bad" that we want less of.
We talked (in the "A" post) about the importance of discovering our WHY for whatever it is we desire. Now we can see how to put the achievement of our desire on auto-pilot, so that it flows to us with relative ease. It's a matter of making a conscious effort to strongly embed in our minds the type of beliefs that best align with our aims, and to clearly associate our aims with things that are desirable.
There are countless techniques, you only need a few. When you find something that suits your style, stick with it. Examples will pop up throughout this "A to Z" series. Since the next letter is "D", I'll include instructions for what has been called the "Dickens Technique".
But for now, that is all. I'm sorry, but you have no choice in that. (Smile.)
This post is part of "An A to Z for Success". See the side panel on the right for an index.
First of all, check your reaction to this statement:
YOU HAVE NO CHOICE IN ANYTHING.
That's the bad news. The good news is that when we understand that we have no choice in anything, that's when we become free to make more informed and effective choices. Let me explain this paradox.
Take any "choice". It begins with a problem to be solved, or a need to be met, or a desire to be fulfilled... there is a target to aim for. Let's take a simple example with just two clear alternatives, but all the more complex patterns are basically the same. One alternative brings us closer to our desired target, the other takes us away from it.
Always, despite the appearance of a choice, we are bound to take the path that meets our desired target. Always, we take the path that we feel will either increase our comfort or decrease our pain. And that is why we do not really have a choice.
*****
But, there are countless examples of people "choosing" the more difficult path that seems devoid of all comfort, even when there is a very comfortable option. Plus, there are endless examples of when we do the opposite of what we clearly know is best for us.
Yes, of course. And those are the times when our "choice" is driven not by a logical assessment of the immediate factors, but by BELIEFS which, as we discussed in the previous post, are largely buried in our unconscious mind, but always we are driven to follow the "choice" that satisfies the strongest belief we hold.
And so, we yield to the temptation of an extra cream cake, knowing full well that it goes against our conscious desire for a trimmer waistline. Deeper down, we are perhaps driven by the desire for approval, and we learned to believe at an impressionable age that a cream cake is the reward for good children.
Always, we flow through life like water, along the path of least resistance as determined by our strongest beliefs. These beliefs, mostly hidden from our conscious awareness, map out for us what has been called our "comfort zone". They define the territory in which we feel either safe or threatened, and our unconscious mind is constantly on the alert to protect us from perceived threats and keep us safely within our unconsciously defined comfort zone. That is the real driving force of the choices we make ... until we wake up to what's going on. Then we can take steps to redraw our map to reflect where we truly would choose to go
*****
Our "comfort zone" can become a hellishly uncomfortable place for us to be. Take someone who feels trapped in a job that they get no satisfaction from doing, the conditions are eroding their health, it involves a hellish commute every day, and even the lousy pay does not justify it. Why?
Similar situations can arise in any area of our lives: relationships, where we live, our social scene... Perhaps, the person who feels trapped in that lousy job has had their beliefs strongly contaminated by constant "news" of "the recession"? Perhaps, deep down, they have become convinced there is no alternative but the fearful prospect of no job at all? They have bought into the story that sticking with what they have is their safest bet, their "comfort zone"?
And yet, recession or not, that person needs only one job. If they could just take on board the belief that somewhere out there is a job with ideal conditions for them, then they would soon find it.
The most common belief that undermines our choices is some form of "I'm not good enough."
There was a classic case of a businessman offering sales careers with a six-figure income, but no one was applying for the positions. The recruitment consultant hired to solve the problem immediately changed the offer to just £40,000. The businessman protested: he was offering a genuine opportunity to earn treble that amount. The consultant just smiled and handed over a stack of applications, all of them from prime candidates.
The consultant understood that the only thing holding them back before had been a belief that they were "not good enough" to hit the jackpot because, so far, they had only experienced lower earnings ... and that was hard enough for them! All of them, by the way, went on to achieve six-figure incomes after they were shown how.
*****
Let's return to practicalities. How can we put to use what we have just learned about CHOICE?
Based on what we have learned, we can picture our route through life as one with endless appearances of choice, but in fact we always follow the sign that says ">>> THIS WAY >>>".
The trouble is, many of those signs were put in place long ago, based on forgotten experiences that linger in our unconscious minds as buried beliefs. When these hidden "presets" run contrary to the aims that we consciously subscribe to, that's when life can seem like a senseless tangle of endless difficulties.
But imagine if we could run ahead and change some of those signs around to say, "<<< THIS WAY <<<", wherever the new direction is better suited to our current aims. Then, our flow would take us exactly where we wish to go, automatically.
That is what we can now do, now that we understand this idea that all our choices are decided for us by our beliefs about what is "good" that we want more of and what is "bad" that we want less of.
*****
We talked (in the "A" post) about the importance of discovering our WHY for whatever it is we desire. Now we can see how to put the achievement of our desire on auto-pilot, so that it flows to us with relative ease. It's a matter of making a conscious effort to strongly embed in our minds the type of beliefs that best align with our aims, and to clearly associate our aims with things that are desirable.
There are countless techniques, you only need a few. When you find something that suits your style, stick with it. Examples will pop up throughout this "A to Z" series. Since the next letter is "D", I'll include instructions for what has been called the "Dickens Technique".
But for now, that is all. I'm sorry, but you have no choice in that. (Smile.)
This post is part of "An A to Z for Success". See the side panel on the right for an index.