So far, the titles of my posts have heavily featured words that begin with the letter "F". Here's another one that I simply must include to complete the set.
This comes from the new novel by Bulgarian author Ivinela Samuilova. I am helping my good friend to translate it into English. The extract below is one example of the good humour that runs throughout, but Ivinela's novel is also quite serious with remarkable new insights that are relevant to the themes featured on this blog. Keep a look out for news of when that book is ready. It's good!
Ivinela quotes a poem by Penyo Penev, which speaks for itself...
Fart, my brothers, without constraint
And do not fret about complaints.
Do not worry about saving face,
The job requires some open space.
Let loose the muscles of your arse,
Free its voice from the usual farce.
Add tone and timbre, as you wish.
Make it bass, soprano or tenorish.
Try different rhythms, try andante,
Then try piano, soft volante,
Frisky farting allegro style,
Or a march that goes the extra mile.
To fart is art, a musical gift.
Make it a blast, do you get my drift?
Let rip your talent, no more concealing.
With charm and skill, express your feeling.
How can farting be uncouth?
It lends expression to the truth.
The fart should merit clear approval,
It saves the appendix from removal.
You must concede the firm belief,
Farts lend digestion fast relief.
So drown all shyness, and with full heart
Let’s fart as much as we can fart.
Be it solemn, be it festive,
A fart is more than just digestive.
It’s a divine gift for deep expression.
Do not subject it to compression.
To silence a fart is a deadly crime,
To corrupt the rhythm or spoil the rhyme.
It censors what one freely thinks
And that’s the thing that really stinks.
The fart is simple physiology.
What need is there for an apology?
A grand gesture, the fart is gallant,
With honour, chivalry … even talent!
And ladies, be not faint of heart,
With joyful glee you must take part.
Not just at home, when out of sight,
Fart everywhere, both day and night.
Let’s fart, my friends, in rhythm and rhyme.
Let’s fart, fart, fart to the end of time.
And through our collective impropriety,
Our farts will found a New Society.
Having now cleared the air, so to speak, I promise "no more F words". I shall now be starting the series of posts in which I'll be running through the alphabet from A to Z. Well... I suppose that will involve just one more "F" word... Can't resist!